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Being Gil Noriega

I find it amusing that I can inspire and cheer up others but somehow I can't do it do myself. It's like my dad used to always tell me "Do as I say and not as I do."

I'm in a strange place, neither here nor there. I wish we could somehow switch existences once in a while. I don't mean in the sense of I wish I could be a famous person or rich or whatever. Just in the simplest of terms. I know how I brush my teeth, put my shirts on, tie my shoes, but I wonder how everyone else does? Am I doing things the sucker way? How do you wake up in the morning, what's the first thing you think of? There's so much diversity out there, so much to do, it almost seems unfair that we're stuck in ourselves. How's it feel to be taller, shorter? Lighter, darker? Smarter, more artistic, talented, fearless? Just for a little while.

I miss that sometimes. Just simple things like watching her comb her hair or put on her make up. Looking at her while she cooked. Seeing her sleep.

I had a strange dream where I ended up scraping my knees, it was so vivid. It made me wonder how that would feel now. You know when you're a kid and you ravage yourself all the time, sometimes it killed. Your parents or random grown ups would tell you to shake it off, etc., it's not that bad. Well, was it? I mean do you develop a higher threshold for pain, or are we really just babies. I mean I never really cried or anything like, my tolerance of pain has always been a bit high, but I wonder, what would scraped knees feel like now? I haven't fallen down, been in a fight, gotten tackled, etc in years. Can I still take a punch? Anyway, like I said, I'm in a strange mood.

Later,

Gil