Gil (fenyx) wrote,

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Comin' out the slums...

Guess who's back from the dead. Yeah, well, my blasphemous ass is back too. Version 28.9 or something like that. Anyway, as predicted, the last ten days or so have been a waste. Congratulations.

Fair warning, this is going to be fuckin' epic. Not in quality, but quantity. As if anyone reads this crap anyway, but for posterity's sake, or whatever. Here we go. Last weekend, hmmm, well the Friday we got off for Spring Break was eventful, I was aggravated to begin with, everyone was stressed out, and shit was just "off". Some people surprisingly showed up, while others were up to their old tricks. Alcohol + surprises - money + new faces - work for ten days x more alcohol = DRAMA.  I ended up taking off without saying anything, I guess I freaked a couple of people out, but you know what, whatever.  If I may bitch and whine for a bit, but do they really care?  How many work friends have called me over the break.  A grand whopping total of zero.  Well one, but she's not a work friend so much, point being, it's like over the summer and what not, as long as work's in session, we're pals, but outside of that, everyone's got their own shit going on.  I feel like an ass for neglecting some of my friends due to my work crew.  Should've listened to GXK, never dip that pen in company ink.  But where the hell has he been lately?  Exactly.

The rest of the weekend was quiet, I think people were going out Saturday but Weekend at Roxbury style, thanks but no thanks.  Keep your clubs and pretentiousness, I'll keep my money, thank you very much.  Oh wait, "I'm the asshole."  I did drop a whole lot of money that morning though.  A hundy on Audioslave tickets and then close to three hundy on the new phone.  I still haven't sent out the rebate, or done my taxes, fuck why am I suck a slacker POS?  Monday consisted of sleep, 24, Maker's Mark, (speaking of *swigs*) and the X-Box.  Tuesday I hung out with Jules, went by her house, drove around for a while and finally settled on the Wild Goose.  Fuck, that was a looooong night.  Granted we had a lot of catching up to do, but once we started drinking, in addition to the fact that for a while, she was buying, well, it contributed to the length of the night.  Charlie showed up and everything was copacetic for a while but one thing led to another, the Osbournes of all things, and a huge argurment ensued.  I tried to play the role of peacekeeper, but it wasn't working.  They have a shitload of shit they need to work out.  Julie thought I was taking his side, when I wasn't taking sides at all.  It's really difficult to do one thing, the thing you're expected to do, when you're being asked to do another.  How can I help you if all you ever ask of me is to leave shit the way it is?  Just one more thing, constantly on my mind, one more thing that I really have no one I can talk to about. 

Thursday I was planning on getting the PSP, of course my funds had dwindled away thanks to my friends Jack Daniels and John Jameson, among others.  My ASM matters check didn't and still hasn't come in, and the phone and tickets tapped me out.  Anyway, I wasted the rest of the week as usual, Friday morning I was supposed to go to the Factory with Jules but I didn't talk to her until after noon.  I'm not really sure what I want anyway, armbands?  No thanks.  Something Celtic, something Aztec, a combination of the two?  I'm still looking for a phrase or words to get inked.  I don't know, but PERSEVERANCE has always been something I've wanted, in one way or another.  I figure if it's not inside me, at least it can be on me, right?

Friday fuckin' night.  Finally, something to look forward to, and somewhere different to kick a few back.  I head to the Bottom Lounge a little early, I knew parking was going to be a bitch, yet I still drive my ass there everytime.  Lots of familiar faces, as usual, I'd list and link them all, but you all know each other and if you don't well too bad.  Where the hell was I?  I became slightly distracted.  Lord, between reading and making pointless posts on bulletin boards, reading random and not so random journals, and cable TV, I've been quite productive.  Oh and is it me, or does anyone else feel stalkerish reading people's journals when they're not friends.  I don't know, I mean that's what they're on the 'net for, to be read.  I've said this before but there's a school of though that suscribes to the theory that everything ever written was meant to be read.  I tend to agree with that.  But I digress, Friday was a good night for the most part.  Good food, good people, great music.  Scott played Tangerine which totally made my week, along with a few other songs.  Suffrajett was good as usual, Simi is amazing.  Seriously.  Some people thought that they weren't on their A game, nonetheless, a great time was had by all.  The end of the night got a little awkward.  It's all good, I mean everyone's family, but I'm hazy as to certain details.  Not a big deal I'm sure, still though.  Let me 'splain.  I don't think I looked particularily intoxicated, I really wasn't.  I stopped drinking during Suffrajett and waited for about an hour after the show was over, anyway I don't remember if I said stupid things, or did something moronic (which wouldn't have been the first time) but I'm not sure if I offended or pissed someone off.  Oh well.  I figured out that Bela was the person Charlie and Julie ran into earlier in the week.  Fuck, I kind of want to add to this...grrr...

I wake up yesterday morning, in good shape, but starting to get depressed since Monday is only two days away at this point. BJ calls me and says that he's in town, he's actually been in town.  All week.  Nice.  Okay, I did get a call from Maloney last weekend, but it was a drunken call from a bar, and it was about Local H.  I didn't call back, BJ calls me Monday, maybe Tuesday, but on his cell so I figured he was back in Madison.  Anyway, long story short, I don't know if it's me taking shit too personally, or being sensitive or what, but it bugged me that everyone was out on Saturday and that I was called so "matter of factly".  Like an afterthough, it's always like that.  While I try to put my friends first, at least my old or close ones, it's never reciprocated.  What happened to "Bros before hoes"?  Eh.  Anyway, I spoke to him again during the Illini game (what a fuckin' game BTW) and I told him I'd call back, I didn't.  Rigo called about going to the Mark with Dave and Josh but I was pretty much done for the night at that point.  So is it me?  Am I not a tad too old to be letting shit get under my skin.  Like at the Lounge after the show, I offered someone a ride home and was told "no thanks".  Granted the ride could have been refused for any number of reasons, someone else is picking the person up, the night isn't over, person doesn't know me well enough, etc.  I, have to go and think that it's personal.  I look too drunk or you don't trust me.  It's fine, but in the moment I get worked up, sometimes.  I definitely have trust issues, who doesn't?

I also have issues with my urges I have to work on.  I have to get over the fact that I want to kiss her.  Alcohol or no alcohol, I've got to chill.  Something else bothered me at the show.  I was talking to Grace and Jon and we knew it was going to be a long night, what with four bands and all, and I started getting ancy.  Was it a anxiety type attack, or people pissing me off, or just built up aggravation, or did I really just need a drink?  Hmm.  This sounds worse than it is as I read it back, still though.  Why can't I just once fall for, or even be attracted to the good one?  The one that actually likes me, the one that won't call me drunk and crying, telling me she "fucked up again".  The one that actually remembers my favorite color or asks me how my day went?  Nope, I have to like the wild ones, the ones that can't be tamed.  Kids?  No problem.  Already have a significant other?  Hell, I can share.  I am a very, very, stupid man.  Guess what, I got distracted again, this little post is taking me over an hour, Dummy's on with Adrien Brody and Mila.

Anyway, did I miss anything?  Probably, fuck it.  So today, I'll tidy up 'round here a bit.  Deal with the incoming kids and fam for Easter, watch some Sunday night TV, and pray that tomorrow doesn't ever come.  Good times.  Maybe I should do a meme or something to finish things off, a link, something.  This just feels....incomplete.

Maybe it's just me.


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