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Sex, Lies, and Camera Phones. (Vol. 1)

Let me start out by explaining my jibber-jabber from this morning.  I.  Was.  Fucking.  Drunk.  I was going to write about how I started the afternoon at the Hopleaf in Andersonville, then proceeded to Mullen's, and ended the night at the Mark.  I couldn't stay conscious long enough to complete my entry.  Or even properly go to bed.  Heh.  Ugh.  Surprisingly, once again, with the proper amount of sleep, no hangover.  I think that my constant lack of sleep has made it so that when I actually do get enough sleep it has amazing restorative effects.  Anyway, I was in the shower this morning and reviewing the previous night's events, for some strange reason showers, water, and rain in general tend to kick my brain into action.  Maybe it's the sensory deprivation, no music, people, TV, or other distractions just the water hitting your skin.  Maybe it's because I'm relaxed.  Who knows?  Anyway today's been strange...

Or is just me?  Eh, mostly they just suc.  This is going to be disjointed, deal with it.  I probably should have written it immediately but of course the lousy Cubs game takes precedence.  Those fuckers.  Let me just touch on it briefly, one fucking pitch cost them: the game and the series.  Cost Zambrano a win.  Cost me money, a win in my fantasy league, and just pissed me off beyond repair.  Fucking Wuertz.  I know it's just a game, I know I shouldn't get excited, blah, blah, blah.  Things get me worked up, what can I say?  I can't imagine being like my brother, so "cool", so unemotional.  He never "loves" a movie, it's good or sucks.  He never jumps up or yells at the screen, doesn't cheer, clap at movies, doesn't get excited over things.  He makes fun of me for doing so.  If I'm watching a movie, I let go and try to lose myself in it, I'm looking through that fourth wall.  I'm all over the place here aren't I?  So, back to yesterday.  Mix alcohol, co-workers, young and single (and not so-single) people and something's going to happen.  Especially when you're like me and hate most people.  Heh.  Now, don't get me wrong, I don't hate everyone, much like Bibby I want to annihilate a lot of people.  Annihilate, hmm...*sighs* where have you gone Llama?  Anyway, I digress, Viv wants to kill a certain someone, while I think I can tolerate the people who are obviously annoying, at least you know what you're getting into.  I hate the people who keep it on the down-low.  Those people who are cool with you at work, or in front of you, but then flip the script when the situation fits their needs.  The shadow warriors.  I know I'm losing you guys now, to keep short, I just don't like people who change on you depending on the circumstances.  I wish everyone would just keep it real.  I have a lot more respect for the person who says I get on their nerves to my face than the one who will buy me a beer and then complain about my "presence".  Not that anyone did, specifically.  Fuck, I'm confusing myself now.  I can't even give a specific example.  Let's move on.

Sex.  That caught your attention.  What the fuck is it good for?  Don't jump to conclusions, hear me out.  I mean, in the end is it all fucking worth it?  The chase, the courting, the preparation, it's all such a mess.  Figurtively and literally, heh.  Then you actually get some ass and for what?  Afterwards there's the awkwardness, the questions, the silence.  What now?  What are we?  Umm, was it as good for you as it was for me?  Do you want to me to leave?  Regardless of what anyone says, it does change everything.  Oh and I don't care what you think, guys and girls can't be just friends.  On some level, even if it's subconscious, there has to be a mutual attraction on some level.  The moment one person or the other is single, theres tension.  That's another thing, sexual tension.  Being in the same room with someone who you've been with biblically is just awkward.  I don't care if it was yesterday or last year, just the fact that you know what her "O" face looks like, or what she likes, or does, it's just f'ed up.  Especially if it's on the low-low.  Check this one out, yesterday, the drunken lushes (myself not being one of course, believe it or not I'm real good and when I know I'm getting f'ed up I cool it or head home, besides I'm more of a drunken slut) picked the topic of favorite positions.  I wanted to talk about stem cell research but that was shot down.  Seriously, I did.  Well, let's just say it's strange when you know the answers to not only yours but some others in the room and you have to play it off like you don't.  "OMG Jane, I would have never pegged you as a fan of the reverse cow-girl."  I have to admit though, when one of the gals answered "it depends whether or not you want to be looking at his face", I started cracking up.  Fuck, I don't know exactly where I'm going with all this, I had it all figured out earlier, now it's just random sentences trying to convince themselves that they're actually thoughts.

So, of course as the night continues on, some people have waaaaay too much to drink.  Some of us are just looking for a piece of ass, others want to rack 'em and shoot some stick, while some of us just want to get retarded.  At some point I ordered everyone a round of shots.  Of course person "A" is off flirting, while "B" is playing pool, and "C" is making new friends.  I get tired of waiting and someone rubs me the wrong way so I proceed to "rapid-fire" the shots of Jager.  Not a good idea.  So now I'm hammered, some of you may recall my "phone incident" where my cell ended up in a glass of water.  I'm not so sure how it happened but someone chose to do the exact same thing.  Machismo?  Jealousy?  Just plain stupidity?  I'm not sure what the reasoning was behind the stunt but I'm sure it had a little something to do with me.  Then of course the others start asking questions and people just act stupid.  "You've had too much to drink."  "Why do you do this everytime?"  "I'm leaving."  Again, none of these were directed towards me, even the waitress (whom I'm madly in love with btw, not sure if it's because she's adorable or because she brings me beer) who asked me if I was "baby-sitting" again, knew it.  Unfortunately, I was/am kind of fed up with it all so this time I took off.  I kept getting calls, people wondered what the hell happened.  I really didn't care at the time.  Still don't really.  I'm going through one of my phases I guess, I can get like this.  I take things up until a certain point then I explode/implode and have to isolate myself for a while, I'm not sure how bad it is this time around, but I'm staying in tonight.  Oh yeah, he ruined his phone as well.

Guess that's about it for Vol. 1.  Those were mostly my thoughts about yesterday and earlier today.  I've got a whole other story going on though, I got asked the question...

It's not what you think.