Gil (fenyx) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:


I was in a good mood...for once.

Went out with some people from work, had a lot to drink. Everyone was great, lots of people showed up. I was able to work the room as usual, haven't really gone out in a while, but I'm glad I still got it ;). As fun as it was, and as nice as it was to see everyone, it was only temporary.

I get home, jump on, and reality hits me in the face again. So close yet so far away.

You know, lots of people take shit for granted. When you talk to people that are dying or suicide survivors and shit, they tell you how even the most trivial things seem so grand now, how nothing is trivial. Bullshit.

I walk around and I think to myself sometimes, hell a lot of times...would I really miss this? Yay, another sunset...oh look the leaves are falling...again. Gee I think I would really miss the cold, the 10 degree weather. Oh please, I can't imagine not having bills anymore. But if I'm dead, I'll never get to see the world.

Guess what. No more bills, no more wanting, no more bullshit...

no more pain.

Besides, if you're religious, don't you think you'll be in heaven anyway...fuck it. What's stopping me? Family I guess...I don't know. Don't get all paranoid people, I ain't going anywhere...I just hate living sometimes.

  • Hello?

    Is anyone out there? I'm seeing a few people back on LJ, and thought I'd drop a post. I have been on and off LJ in past couple of years but mostly…

  • So much

    So much to write about it, but so little time. My uncle passing, school, life, my health. I need to be working though. *sigh* I think everyone who…

  • 40

    Today I say goodbye to my thirties. Fuck. I had a lot I wanted to write down, but all of a sudden, it doesn't matter. Maybe I'll get to it…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.