July 8th, 2006

Scud Heartbreaker

Deserve's got nothin' to do with it

The Kid: Yeah. Well, I guess they had it comin'.
Will: We all have it comin', Kid.

I've done my share of dirt, but I guess we all have, right?  I'm an a-hole, I didn't go to that wedding last week and I'm considering skipping this one.  Ugh, since I RSVP'd to this one I suppose I'm going to force my ass to go.  Other than the groom and the bride I'm not going to know a lot of people there and since I think I'm going alone, it's probably going to be a long and awkward evening.  At least I found out no one's really going to be wearing suits, which in a way is worse because I really don't know what to wear now.  If I do take my suit, I'll be overdressed, but I don't want to be underdressed.  God I'm idiot.  This is how my brain works I overthink everything and get all worked up over stupid shit that is probably second nature to most people.  What do I get them?  How much should I spend?  I feel like I'm retarded or something.  I'm thirty years old and there are still many social situations where I'm clueless.  I don't go to many weddings, usually they're family so it's a lot easier and we've just got different customs.  Eh.  How old am I?  I swear to Christ I'm always going to be a child in a man's body.  *shakes head*

So I've been watching a lot of movies lately, I really don't have a whole lot going on, obviously.  Anyway, I watched Unforgiven this morning, damn that's a great flick.  An amazing cast, great lines, beautiful landscapes.  It's also complex.  Is Will really a good guy?  Is this about redemption or has he found it?  Are there any "good guys" in the movie?  What is the value of a man's life?  

Damnit, I just thought about how I'm going to meet everyone's parents tonight.  Fuck, next time I even mention a wedding invitation someone smack me around.  It's not like I'm shy, I just don't like people.  Heh.  Well, not lately anyway, nothing personal of course.  I should drink before I go.  Where's my flask?  

Anyway, Unforgiven, good stuff.  


I think I'm going to go live in a shack on top of some mountain someday, maybe in Mexico.

EDIT: I think I'm going to end up wearing a suit...sonuvabitch...
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