August 17th, 2006


"I'm where I want to be with who I want to be, but I don't like the music."

Damn, another Wild Wing Wednesday/Latin Night. I swear we were only supposed to have a couple of drinks and call it a night. So how do I end up constantly closing the Morseland out on Wednesday nights? It's sad when you show up around 1am and the DJ's like "you're late tonight". It was still a good night, regardless of the pain the next morning. It's all a blur anyway...

On a serious note, however, something disturbing happened at Mullen's. Lisa, D and I are hanging out, having drinks, playing darts, just chillin'. Tiff joins us for a while, we play a few games of 501 and she starts hanging out with the group sitting at the table next to us. No biggie. We're getting ready to go anyway, but while we were closing out, D noticed that on of the guys sitting at the table next to us has a keychain hanging out of his pocket. It reads "KKK" on it. I take a look and I swear it also said "member in good standing". Obviously it bothers D, it also bothers me. I keep it from Lisa because I know it would bother her as well and she's liable to say something if the Puerto Rican comes out, heh. So D's ready to confront the guy about it, for a second I consider doing it myself. After some thought I decide not to and I stop D from doing it. I tell him it's not worth it and that we can just ask Tiff about it next time. First of all, it could be a joke, right? Not a funny one, but maybe it says something else we missed on it, whatever. I'm giving the guy the benefit of the doubt, especially since he shook hands with D when we left. Second, this is one of our hangouts, and while it's been kind of weak as of late, they do take care of us. It'd be kind of a dick move to wreck the joint if we were to get into a confrontation with this ass-clown. I don't know, I think that I did the right thing by just walking out, but at the same time I regret not doing something.  Hell, when I told Lees about it she wanted to go back in.  It's just one of those things, a decision that I'm second guessing.  I don't know.

D went home and we ended up at the Morseland for a minute or sixty.  I'm still thinking about it right now, what year is this?  Eh...

As far as today goes, I got up, ran a couple of errands and finally made my way to the hospital to visit my sister.  I've probably mentioned it before, but I'm not a fan of hospitals.  I guess I'm an asshole, but I really don't like visiting people in them or going to them at all.  A couple of days ago my sister went to see her doctor.  She's pregnant and it was for a routine appointment.  During the visit I guess the doctor noticed her blood pressure was high and recommended that she spent a night in observation.  Well, that night has turned out to be a few days, she's going to be there at least until Sunday now.  I'm not entirely aware of what's going on, but I guess she either has or is in danger of developing preeclampsia.  From what I understand, she was a lot better today but it's still kind of scary.  

Another thing that bothers me, that I've also probably ranting about before, is how I deal with these type of situations.  I've tried analyzing myself, but I honestly can not figure it out.  When my dad was sick, when I had my little cancer scare, and during other situations, I've always reacted the same way.  With not much of a reaction at all.  I don't get too worried, and I don't know if it's because:
A) Somewhere down inside I have faith or know that everything's going to be ok,
B) I don't care, or 
C) a combination of the two.

I mean is it apathy?  Am I really that sure that things are going to work out?  Denial?  I really can't say.  One theory is that I go into a "danger mode" of sorts.  Like I go into automatic and it numbs me.  I know I go into that "zone" during emergencies so why not during situations like these.  I don't know, I guess it shouldn't matter since things really do have a tendency to work themselves out.  In one way or another.  

Fuck, it's getting late, did I have a point?  Fuck if I know...


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