Gil (fenyx) wrote,
Gil
fenyx

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Nothing to say...

Sometimes, you just feel like you have nothing to say, and well others...

Where to being, well on the way home from work my father and I got into a huge discussion about aging. How there's pretty much two groups of people, those who think they're going to live forever, or at least for a long time. They act like they're younger than they are, they lie about their age, never prepare for the future, act irresponsibly, and basically think they have plenty of time to take care of things.

Then you have the other group which prepares. They know what lies ahead and accordingly prepare for it. They're the people with savings bonds for their kids, retirement funds for themselves, and wills nicely prepared. They're not fooling themselves, they make the most of everyday.

I don't exactly know which I fall into. Honestly, I don't know which is better. It's always nice to be prepared, but who wants to think about death. I think you have a better chance of living longer if you think young. Live for today, fuck tomorrow. Then again, you'll never get anywhere with that attitude will you? I guess I'm a little of both, I'm not delusional, I know time is short, I get older every day...but at the same time, I don't care. Hmmm there may let be a third group, those who are just so apathetic they fail to fall into either group.

Ehh...enough of that shit, who wants to be grouped anyway?

BTW, those of you that are avid followers of Fenyx Rising...yeah all two of you, lol. If you want, or need help coming up with things to write about...I have an idea, and this includes anyone else that may stumble upon this idiotic blog. I have taken years and years of writing classes, and have tons of books. I can probably come up with an exercise for everyday of the week for those of you that are interested, just to get you started...maybe once a week we can all write about the same topic, twice a week, whatever. I'm just putting that out there for all of you.

What else is going on? It saddens me how some people don't change. It doesn't mean I don't love them, but it gets old you know? I mean, at some point, we all have to grow up, but some people refuse to. The wild lifestyle, the drinking, and what not, you have to stop. Or at least cool it, I don't know...it just sucks. I know most of you are like WTF? It's just that I've seen lots of good friends make stupid decisions, or get into horrible situations because they were fucked up, or just careless.

I can't do it much longer.

While I'm at it...others of you are also dead-set in your ways. I understand that we are all a result of our past, our experiences, our triumphs, and our failures. But at some point, you have to change, or just give a little. Let those walls down, let people in. If you want to live your life without risk, without living, then what's the point. Of course you're risking getting hurt, and it's scary I know, you've been screwed over before. Believe me I know, I've been there too. Just remember, the person that never takes a chance, never had one. Another good one is 100% of the shots you DON'T take, DON'T go in. - Wayne Gretzky. Remember, take the chance, break down the walls, let people in, I'm not saying this applies to everyone, and to be reckless with your heart, but have faith. Just trust again, maybe, just maybe, this time it will be in good hands.

Wow, I'm fawkin' rolling now, I could go at it all day...I guess I should try to do something constructive, I don't know. I haven't been online anymore, I'm sure some of you know why, just too draining. I've notice lots of you feel the same way, maybe it's just time to break free for a while. I might just cancel all my accounts...who knows. BTW someone keep me off I-Tunes, I haven't bought anything in a while, but everytime I browse music I want to buy something. It's just sooooo easy, click and yoink! New song! Woot!

Strange as this may sound, especially with all the ish floating around out there, I've been getting the urge to DJ again...just listening to everyone else...it's making me think. But then again, there's the scheduling, and promoting, and I know I'll get upset if people don't listen...I don't know. It just sucks to build things up, to have expectations, to want things to happen and not have them come out as planned.

Kind of like life huh?

Holy shit this is kind of long, I better stop or none of you will even get down to this part. But let me leave you all with some last thoughts, and I know it applies to me too...

Cheer the fuck up, calm the hell down, and just relax. Think things through and let those you love know that you love them. Remember how difficult it is to find a real friend, and don't let stupid things get in the way of your friendship. You never fucking know if and when you'll get another chance so don't waste it. Love you guys! Love you mija.

Gil "The Preacher" Noriega
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