Gil (fenyx) wrote,

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Where to begin?

I'm a bit buzzed, just warning you is all. It sucks that my Internet access has be so spraodac, sporadic? whatever..this year. I haven't updated as often as I would have liked to. Anyway. Before I get to stuff...wait what was the point of any of this? Today is Wednesday, and even though the crew has long since disappeared, I still managed to make it to Mullen's with my baby to see D and my brother Caesar. Had some wings, some whiskey and some shots. And I've had some more whiskey here now. Whiskey? Wiskey? Hmm...I think it's Whiskey but I think Whisky is also acceptable. Maybe. Anyway, where was I? Mullen's was good today, but also depressing, things just aren't the same anymore. But whatta ya gonna do. Friday, last Friday, now THAT was a trip, let me explain.

I worked at my old school for over seven years, I then took off to Indy. Old news I know. Melissa got a job at another school pretty much down the street. Anyway, long story short, her Christmas party was on Friday, at the same place that our old school had their Christmas party. On the same day.

We walk in and they're like which party are you here for? I was like shit...we went to side where her new school was having their event. People weren't very friendly for the most part and we were there twiddling our thumbs. I was already a bit anxious/nervous about the whole thing but add the old school to the mix and the fact that the bar was on their side, it was a huge cluster fuck. There were a lot of people I really didn't want to speak to, furthermore, I wasn't going to really be able to relax until I had a drink to take the edge off. That might sound bad but I won't deny it, it helps. Anyway, we eventually walked over and it wasn't so bad. I also ended up running into a couple of old friends that work with my fiance now. So we talked and went over some old times. It was really nice running into Holly. Old times were relived and now my baby has at least a couple of people to talk to at her new job. As a matter of fact, I was spoken highly of at lunch today by Holly, go figure. Long story short, it felt like running into an old girlfriend with your new girlfriend, but in the end it wasn't that bad. (eventhough some people did end up being a bit shady, but what are you gonna do?)

Speaking of new jobs. My new job sucks. I mean, it isn't the hardest job ever, and I'm grateful to have a half-way decent job but it really sucks. Retail sucks, people suck. It's at Northbrook Court and I have to say that they are a bunch of facists there. Open up late, that's a write up. Hang your coat on a chair, that's a write up. God forbid they say anything to the idiot teens running around wild but if something's out of place in your kiosk, you're in trouble. Oh and you should see the uniforms the guards wear. They look like those Canadian cops. Boonies? Bounties? I forget what they're called. I've had a few, sorry. MOUNTIES!!! That's right, anyway, yeah the guards have those ridiculous hats and they also have that oh so familiar chip on their shoulder. You know the one. The "I'm not smart enough or dedicated enough to be a real cop so I'll pretend to be one here and be a hardass and take it out on you since I can" attitude that all rent-a-cops seems to have. Well, maybe not all but like 90 percent of them.

Eh, I should stop complaining, still though, I've never been good at accepting errors or doing work, I mean extra work due to the mistakes of others. But that's life. So yeah, I sell calendars in a kiosk in the middle of a mall now. I know your job doesn't or shouldn't "define" you, but I can't help but be a little depressed about it. I don't know...

Oh, and in case you haven't heard or figured it out by now. I've moved back to Chicago.

I really didn't want to publicize it at first. I guess I really haven't. I don't know, but it just feels like I failed in someway. Like I had to come crawling back home, tail between my legs, because I couldn't hack it somewhere else. I don't know. Then sometimes, I wonder if I didn't subconsciously fail, because I missed Chicago so much. Although, I'm not quite sure what I missed at the moment, other than the town of course.

Did I miss my friends? So far I've really only hung out with one of them. My family? I see them every so often but they haven't even bothered to visit me since I've been back. Gratned, I live on the south side now, but it's only a ride down Lake shore drive away. Shit, sorry I sound like I'm just bitching now. I'm glad to be back, I'm glad to have a job, and things slowly seem to be workiing out. I hate being ppoor though. It's been tough not working for the last X amount of months. I've fallen behind on some shit and I really haven't been able to live the "lifestyle" I've grown accustomed to.

Now, I've never been rich per se, but if I saw a game or a CD or a movie I wanted, I'd pick it up. Shows. I'd got to whichever the ones I wanted to go to. Wow, I literate today, err articulate even. Anyway, you know what I mean, I wasn't riding around in Lambos and Ferraris but I wasn't really depriving myself either. Now I'm forced to to actuallly limit myself and stay on a budget. It sucks. And I'm not sure when I'll be out of this hole I seem to have dug myself. But again, whatta ya gonna do?

81.5 Million dollars, a-holes, why can't I win that. I have to start playing the lottery. (btw-that was what someone here in IL won in the Mega Millions yesterday)

Damn, I'm rambling now, so I'll shut up. Merry Christmas everyone, Happy Holidays.


- Gil
Tags: holidays, work

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