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Never Say Never...Say Never?

A few days ago, I don't remember where, I was watching an interview with the latest shuttle crew. I don't think they've gone up yet, but they have been getting ready for their upcoming mission, I think for about seven years now. Well, something they said during the interview made me realize that I'm never going to be an astronaut. That means that odds are, I'll never be in space. It made me quite sad for a moment or two. Don't get me wrong, I'm not crazy. I never joined the Air Force, or NASA, or studied anything even remotely useful for a career in space. So I'm not like sad sad, but I think every child at one point imagined themselves up in space. Looking down on the Earth, the stars, experiencing the vastness of the universe. Or maybe you thought you'd get to meet alien lifeforms like E.T.? Or you imagined hanging out with Ewoks? Traveling through the cosmos at warp speed or hyperspace or whatever. I don't know, it's just sad to have to give up dreams sometimes.

I'm never playing a down of football in the NFL. I'm never going to front a world famous rock band. I'm never going to hit a homerun in the World Series. I'm never going to hit a three for the Bulls. I'm never going to crane kick my way to a Karate Championship. You get the point.

Lots of us have dreams and goals, but eventually you grow up, and unfortunately some of those have to fall to the wayside. The point was further cemented on Sit Down, Shut Up. (which incidentally isn't that bad but doesn't live up to my expectations) One of the teachers starts talking about how he's going to have a huge house when grows up and then realizes he's 40.


Melissa and I always talk about the island we're going to have, or the Mustangs (I think they've become Challengers at the moment) we're going to buy. It's all in fun, kind of like talking about what you're going to spend your lottery winnings on, (when in reality the odds are better that you'll actually play in the NFL, hit a homerun in the World Series, hit a three for the Bulls AND hang out with Ewoks before you win the big jackpot) but it's sort of depressing at the same time.

I've always had this problem with time. You know how kids are always crying about growing up? When I grow up, blah, blah, blah. Or I can't wait to turn X so I can Y. Well, as far as I can recall I never, ever, wanted to get older. I was driving as soon I learned how, damn the man and his license. I never really got into drinking until college and even then I didn't care. Voting? Whatever. The point is that I've never necessarily been afraid of aging, but I've never really looked forward to it either. All this stuff with my mom and Melissa's mom, it's just reminding me of my mortality. Time is short. It just keeps on getting shorter.

I hate comparing myself to others my age or younger, but it can't be helped. So and so wrote her first screenplay at the age of blah, blah, blah. Whatshisface was the CEO of Acme at the age of whatever. Eh...didn't I say I was going to change the tone of my posts? Hmm...

The weather's getting nicer...umm...that's cool.



The real Noriega



( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 12th, 2009 12:24 am (UTC)
i know how you feel. one of my best friends died when i was 12. it kind of drove home the mortality thing. i am always afraid that i'm blowing it by not doing enough or being enough, knowing that the time line of my life might reach its end tomorrow.
May. 12th, 2009 12:58 am (UTC)
Hope is a stupid jerk.
Damn the man and his hope.


p.s. Seriously, my CAPTCHA for this comment is "undying 102." Spooky.
May. 13th, 2009 03:35 pm (UTC)
I think I made a pretty crappy kid. Other than wanting to be a paleontologist at one point, I was pretty down to earth. That dream just went by the wayside of practicality, when I found out they only make about 35K a year. The ones that do make a lot of money, are lucky and have one great find, or are working for the petroleum industry.

I knew sports weren't for me the second I was beaned in the eye in the first 5 minutes of my first little league practice. I never dreamed of the astronaut thing because the idea of space is just too scary to me, I hate heights, and I could never withstand all the jostling in space training. Actually the second I saw "Space Camp," I knew I coudn't pull that off.

I still get what you're saying though. I mean, I grew up thinking that with a college education I'd be rolling in dollars, and would be better off than my parents. Yet here I am closing in on 30, and I'm making just a little more than half what my dad made without a degree. Meanwhile, with all the health care cuts and pension problems, the previous generation is going to stay working even longer, and that's going to block a lot of our moving up in the world. The whole squeeze is a big mess.
May. 13th, 2009 03:42 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I'm complaining about the unattainable dreams, when I should be worried about the ones that should be feasible that are BECOMING unattainable. Retirement, home ownership, (like a real house not a damn condo) etc. I too wanted to be a paleontologist and/or archaeologist (it took me like three tries to spell it, that should sum it all up right there) but at some point I realized it wasn't going to be like the Indiana Jones movies.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )