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I'm a mess. I'm trying to write more often, just to vent, and to keep everyone in the loop. It's strange but lately I just can't make decisions. Not that I've ever been very good at it, but as of late I agonize over the dumbest shit. Even this entry, should I make it friends only? WTF? Who cares? Even stupid ass Facebook, I'm always wondering what to post, or write, or if my profile should be open to everyone or what my privacy crap should be set to. I need a life coach.

Even the whole thing about Melissa being pregnant, I didn't, I don't know how the best way to tell everyone is. I'm on FB a lot, but I didn't want to be that guy, OMG We're having a baby! I'm we just starting buy stuff this weekend. Part of is that we didn't want to jinx it, we're older and it was difficult enough to get to this point. The other part is that a lot of people have been going through some rough shit as of late and I didn't want it to seem like we were showing off or rubbing it in anyone's face, or really just make anyone feel any worse off. I figured the whole GIRL!!! outburst on Facebook was okay because it was genuinely spontaneous and most people knew by that point. I know some of you didn't and I kind of feel crappy about it, because I truly consider you some of my closest friends even though we may not see each other very often. Hell there's family we haven't told yet, just because we don't see 'em, whatever.

That's another reason I regret not writing as often, I'm missing out on writing baby crap. About we found out, the ultrasounds, the annoying medical offices and procedures. God I hate doctors and hospitals, but that's another story. Maybe not doctors so much, but the medical system in general. *sighs*

It's actually time consuming, I've got so much other crap I should be doing, I've got a 15 page paper due in a month and a 15-20 minute presentation due in ten days and I'm here on LJ and on Facebook. There's also laundry, dishes, and other chores to be done. Yay. Being grown up sucks. Being pseudo-poor makes it worse.

Speaking of grown up, I'm friggin' 34. I feel so old. It was a nice weekend and we had lunch in Wicker Park on Saturday, I felt so out of place and old. All around me were hipsters, and yuppies living it up. Maybe that's why I really didn't even try going to the H shows. Part of it is that I didn't really dig their newest album, another part is that I'm not down with the fact that I might end up hearing said album in its entirety. I also just kind of find myself being, I don't know, lazy? I rather play cards, play games on the 360, or watch TV. Fuck, I don't want to become that guy but, when, or should I? I'm rambling.

It's Opening Day at Wrigley, the bars have been going since early this morning, I kind of wish I was there, it's nice out, it's baseball, but again...it's not like I can afford to be out there anyway. The baby is going to be good for me, I'll be able to focus all of my energy on her, and I'll also have a built in excuse or good reason to avoid/skip all of the events I can't afford anyway.

There are a few more things I wanted to touch on, but if I ramble on too long no one will want to read this. (As if I have tons of people reading it anyway) Hope you're all doing well.




( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 12th, 2010 06:58 pm (UTC)
I didn't know you guys were pregnant. Congratulations :)
Apr. 12th, 2010 07:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
Apr. 13th, 2010 02:38 am (UTC)
congrats, Gil - this is the first Ive heard of it, too.
Speaking of getting "old", Im turning 30 in October. Im getting there, too. I thought about how I dont see Local H much anymore (probably due to work and so on), and I realized something: Scott and Brian are getting "older" - hell they're both grey, lol. Local H wont be around forever. I want to see my favorite band as much as I can while I still can. I dont think Ill ever come across another band in my life that I care so much about - (now, their last album aside), dont you kinda feel the same way?

Im seeing them 8 times in May, that should hold me over for awhile :)
Apr. 15th, 2010 03:09 am (UTC)
I agree to a point Dewey, I've seen them countless times now and I do want to see them because they'll come a time when we're going to be like "I wish Local H was still around." But I don't know, part of it is knowing I might have to hear an album I don't love, and part of it is that I'm getting old. Eh, I also agree that I don't and probably never will care about a band like I do this one, hell, look around, I wouldn't have half of my friends if it wasn't for them.
Apr. 24th, 2010 06:11 pm (UTC)
you ARE getting old... *runs away*
Apr. 13th, 2010 03:36 am (UTC)
You really don't need to explain why and when you let people know something that big (good reasons, though). Of course this is from the guy who saw that picture of you holding baby furniture in the snow that Melissa posted, and tried to out you. Sorry if my rhetorical questioning let the cat out of the bag, but I'm pretty sure you wanted to get caught.

As far as going out and doing stuff, we all have backed down. I've consistently backed off of going out for 6 years now. I'm probably not seeing Local H when they come here either. I've spent weekends just hanging with the girl watching whatever Netflix movies we have laying around.

Good luck with the baby, the both of you. Document whatever you can (for yourself and family, not us), even what's passed already. We're getting really old, we can't be counted on to remember anything, anymore.

Apr. 15th, 2010 03:14 am (UTC)
I don't have to explain, but I don't want anyone to feel slighted or whatever. It's tough when you don't see people all of the time. I hope you guys know that I appreciate your friendship, even though we see never see other. It's just strange, without getting too emo or whatever, but it is tough having people you care about and letting them know, y'know.

I'm babbling, anyway, umm...don't worry about the picture Melissa just took it randomly and we didn't think much of it. It's like this slider, it's pretty cool instead of liking swinging or rocking the kid, it slowly slides back and forth.

I hear you on staying in but I don't want to be that guy, that like changes his whole lifestyle, I still want to have fun and be fun, I don't know. Like we were out today, but there are friends of ours that don't go out at all anymore since they've had a child. There's got to be a happy medium in there somewhere. Thanks for the well wishes, and yeah I need to write shit down because I won't remember it, heh.
Apr. 15th, 2010 01:46 am (UTC)
Congratulations!!! ^^
Apr. 15th, 2010 03:06 am (UTC)
Apr. 24th, 2010 06:12 pm (UTC)
Sorry... don't check this very often anymore... but CONGRATS!! A baby.... so exciting! Better you than me :P lol ...This will be a great thing in your life :)
Apr. 30th, 2010 12:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :)
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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