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I suck

I've really neglected this thing. I can't believe I haven't made any icons of my kids. I guess I could do it real quick...anyway.

NYE is upon us. I can't say I'm very excited. Having kids has sucked a lot of energy out of me, don't get me wrong, it's awesome and amazing and adds excitement to a whole lot of other things, but it's draining. I'm looking forward to seeing old friends, and hanging out for a bit, for some reason not really excited about seeing the band itself. It's not going to be a typical Local H show so...I don't know.

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So we went to see a daycare today. Serafina really liked it, she made herself at home immediately. It's a small place, run by a mother and daughter. I believe they're Mexican, or of Mexican descent. I only mention it because they do a lot of communicating in Spanish and the mother cooks the kids their meals. Both pluses in my book, I want Sera to learn both English and Spanish, unfortunately we don't use Spanish very much here at home. All of the literature I've read says that learning two languages at once will not stunt their language development, so I'm all for it.

Anyway, we liked the place, got some paperwork and headed home. Of course we were dealing with both kids and I placed the folder on top of the Jeep, sure enough I forgot about it (even after specifically telling myself not to forget it when I put it up there). We even heard a slight thud on the way home, I assumed it was something in the back, most likely it was the folder flying off.

I feel horrible about it, this is the type of stupid shit I obsess about it. What if someone from the center finds the folder. Will they think we're assholes? Just threw it out the window? We had to be referred to the center by someone that Melissa works with, we actually ran into him there, his child seems happy and quite intelligent. If we end up not sending Sera there I'm going to feel like we wasted a lot of people's time. Or that we thought something was wrong with the place, what if we want to send her later, then maybe they won't accept us.

The other part of it is that my school, NEIU, has an excellent day care center that Serafina has been signed up for since before she was born. It has a two year waiting list. They don't take kids until they're 15 months so I waited until then. Like an idiot I never checked in, and they didn't have space for her in the spring. They should have space in the summer. It's a little more expensive, but I get a student discount. Furthermore, I did some observation/clinical hours there for my program and I was really impressed. The kids learn Spanish and Korean in addition to everything else they learn.

Why do we even need to put her in daycare. It's scary. I never went to daycare, I pretty much didn't leave home until the first day of Kindergarten. Same with Melissa. My mom and sister will probably babysit Ruby, so why not Sera as well. Keep everything the way it has been. I don't know. Serafina needs to socialize. I already feel like she's falling behind at times. I'm sure it's not her and that she isn't really, I mean she's not even 17 months yet, it's my deal, but what if she is?

Ugh. I know I'm overthinking it, but it's what I do.

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In other news, Star Wars The Old Republic is fun.

This holiday weekend was rough, I had a bad allergic reaction in Birdseye, too many animals, I thought I was having an asthma attack. Too much driving. I mentioned to Melissa that maybe we should alternate holidays instead of doing Christmas and Thanksgiving times three. She wasn't too keen on it, I can't blame her, my family's only across town.

I didn't get into Christmas too much this year, it seemed more like a hassle than anything. Too stressful. I know that presents isn't what it's about, it's about baby Jesus, but it is tough to keep that in perspective when stuff is just happening all around you.

We came home from Indiana to a flat tire on the Avenger. The Jeep has the check engine light as well. Oh and RCN is raising their rates again. Lame. I just got off the phone with them because my Interwebs was down. Maybe it is time to check out Comcast. Who incidentally didn't even have service in our area a few years ago for some reason.

What else? I think that's it, it's kind of been a crappy day as well, hopefully the weekend is fun and pulls me out of this funk I'm in.

One,

Gil