Gil (fenyx) wrote,
Gil
fenyx

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Warning: Long Entry

Godamnit, I had a bunch of crap written down, and then I f'd up and deleted it. Just been that kind of a day I guess. Everyone punked out on going out, so whatever. Guess I won't be getting my drink on this St. Patrick's Day. I should have known with the morning I was having. Have the journal looking all green, white, and gold, too bad no one's looking at it :(. Eh, I'm over it. Let's see, work sucked, well not too bad. I was on the phone for a large chunk of it, I can work and talk on the phone, but I don't know if my co-workers believe it. I felt like I was getting some looks and ish, but you know what. Fuck it.

I have a crap load of Skaterade now, feel like having one, but then I'll probably never get to bed. Tried playing EQ earlier but I'm pretty convinced that it sucks when no one's on. Maybe it's me, but I don't see the point in these scavenger type quests. Get these parts, make this thing, yay. I used to like RPGs, didn't I? I mean the whole repetitive nature of killing, getting XP, getting PP, buying, selling, making, hunting, I don't know. I guess I need storylines, suspense, something. I mean how important is my role in the land of Norrath if everyone else is running around killing, hunting, getting the same weapons, and completing the same quests. At least in other RPGs the fate of the world or whatever, is in your hands, right? Hey Gil, they're just games...come back to Earth. *shakes head*

I'm thinking of reworking my I-Tunes, I'm pretty insane about music, and if something gets five stars, it has to be a song that I would never skip...I don't know.. lol. Where was I? Well as much as I've been fighting it, and as happy as I've been the last few days...I think I'm falling back into a rut. I really don't like to wallow in it, but I can't help it. Certain things just tug at me, pull back into the real world. Unfortunately, TSO, EQ, There, nothing seems to be helping me avoid some facts. I'm getting older, the reunion, bday coming up, all have drilled that into my head. What do I have to show for my 28 or so years of life on this mudball? Not much.

Sarah got back from FL and I saw some pics, they were great pics but that kinda brought me down too. I should have gone down there, it would have been so easy. They had a room, I'd be there with one of my closest friends, it would have been great. What did I do instead, go to my reunion, saw a bunch of strangers, none of which have contacted me two weeks later btw, surprise, surprise, and got drunk. Guess it's a lot of things, I've just been too happy the last few days or so to notice it. I hate reality.

Talked to Julie for a long time today, I've known her for three years already, time just races by. Anyway, we were talking about the whole crew, everyone we hung out with, and of all people, how the hell did we end up being such good friends. Some of the peeps we don't even know of, or talk to anymore. It's just strange how fate, luck, whatever you want to call it, works sometimes. I feel like I've lived several lives. My HS life, college, the party/raver days, and it's all come back to writing, and to the RP. (Rogers Park) Anyway, she's always good at cheering me up, or joining me in my misery, lol.

I'm also spending entirely way too much time on this NCAA shit. Hope I get all the umm, friendly non-wager sheets rounded up tomorrow before 11.

I still keep thinking about that house from friday night.

Been spending lots of time talking to Mija, some of you may know who I'm talking about, others of you will be like WTF? I won't get into it, but those few of you who know, probably know or can tell how up and down I am, and have been. Let's just say that I can really, really, REALLY relate to Ax's dilemma. Oh and it sucks when people aren't on the same page. Que sera, sera. (ok back to everyone else now)

Other than my entries in this thing, I haven't been able to do much writing. Call it block, laziness, whatever. I just don't know. Apathy maybe, I just don't care sometimes you know? I'm actually curious as to how many of you have made it this far. I guess I'll get to it when I get to it, right?

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay just a little stress reliever there, feel better? I don't, lol. Hmm...is that it? I could have sworn I had tons more to write about, guess not. I really need to go back and look at old entries and maybe mark some as memories or favorites or whatever, bc I write almost everyday and there's no way in hell I'm going to rereading every entry all that often. Alright, well thanks for reading everyone...

Much Love,

Gilla McNilla

BTW I'm drinking the Skaterade, I'm never going to get to bed, lol.
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