You can never tell when and where you're going to experience an epiphany, a moment of clarity, or enlightenment, attaining Nirvana. Now I'm not saying any of these things just happened to me, but in a brief amount of time I was able to observe humanity, and things just seemed a little bit clearer.
In general, there are a few good people out there, but unfortunately I think a vast majority of the people out there are only looking out for themselves.
Let me explain.
I'm sitting in Save-A-Lot's parking lot, mom needed to buy some groceries so I gave her a ride, but I sure as hell wasn't going in there with her. As I waited for her, listening to the Smashing Pumpkins, contemplating life, I was privy to the way the world works.
A van was parked in front of me and a couple of ladies and a small child left the store and started packing it with their groceries. Shortly thereafter the people that were parked next to them left the store, the vehicles were parked very close to each other and everyone was very careful not to hit each other doors. So the people in van #1 were done first and were being rude, giving the other people looks, and not waiting for them to be done before pulling out. The people in van #2 were two young ladies and an older lady who I assumed was their mother, they had a lot of things and it took them a while to load it up. It looked like they were struggling and it crossed my mind for a second to help them but being as they were young and somewhat attractive, I'm sure they'd think I was hitting on them or something.
Anyway, it's sad how some people are jerks and self-centered, not to mention rude. It's also f'ed up how someone can't help people out without people thinking you have an agenda. Ever try to help some old lady cross the street? Or help someone with their bags? People are just paranoid, they assume you're going to take off with their things, it's just sad, but I digress.
A few moments passed and I saw a few people come and go, business men, families, kids, some jerk was in a hurry and I guess he couldn't be bothered to return his cart so he rolled it across the lot in the vicinity of the cart return area. Ever leave the store or the mall just to get to your car and find a nice scratch or ding? That's the asshole you'll all be wanting to thank.
Directly across from me on the other side of the lot were the handicapped spots. An average sized lady left the store and rolled her cart to the minivan parked in one of the spots. Now the van had a handicapped license plate so everything's copacetic right? I don't know about you, but I should be so handicapped, she was lugging gallons of drinking water like they were nothing, tossing them into the van without breaking a sweat. She then proceeds to roll her empty shopping cart into the spot next to her and pulls out, but not before throwing an half-empty Gatorade bottle onto the ground beneath her.
I hate litterbugs, I downright loathe them, especially when you've had jobs where you have to clean up after people or have a front lawn littered with various bags of chips, fast food containers, and empty beer bottles.
By now you guys think I'm like some kind of stalker or voyeur, but I was right there in front of everyone. Windows open, music playing, I wasn't hiding from anyone, and I wasn't getting any kind of pleasure from this little skit. I was just killing time and watching Homo Sapiens interact with each other, kind of like watching animals on the Discovery channel, except that the animals are usually a lot more likeable.
Maybe it's just me.
I sat there a little bit longer, getting bored and sleepy, when I saw a small fat kid and an old man, probably his grandfather. The grandfather was carrying a bag of groceries, walking slightly ahead of the child. The kid was running to catch up, waving a huge beef stick in his right hand, smiling ear to ear, the happiest kid in the world. I swear it looked like it was happening in slow-motion.
It crushed me.
Maybe it was because I wish I was a child again, no pressure, no worries, innocent, not a care in the world. It could be that since I'm getting older, dare I say it, maybe my paternal insticts were kicking in. I want kids, a family, the house, my dad spoiling my son. Maybe the kid reminded me of myself and it was the realization that at some point, that kid's happiness is going to end. Maybe I just wanted that beef stick.
Or, maybe it was the fact that I couldn't remember the last time I was that happy, and I doubt I will ever feel that way again...
So what's my point? What's the moral of the story? I might have lost it along the way, but I think that unless we're all nicer to each other in our parking lots of life, none of us will ever get our beef sticks.
Umm...I guess I'm saying you should take a minute and be nice to someone the next time you get the chance, instead of a dick. I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around, karma even. Believe it or not, I really do have faith in humanity, that given the choice between helping and harming someone, most people will help. However, at the same time, I really do hate people. Maybe I just see the bad in them, I don't know. I'm not really in the mood to be around anyone, so I'll still be incognito around here, but I'm alive, not so much well, just thought I'd share...