Gil (fenyx) wrote,
Gil
fenyx

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Novocaine

Fuck, I had a crapload to write about but my brother was on the computer messing with Sims 2. It's amazing how addicted I was to the Online version, now I could careless about the Sims in general. Alright, some of it involved reoccuring themes in my life this past year or so...

Uno. The Past
Ran into Strive at Mullen's today and we just started shooting the shit about a lot of things. It's probably been over a year since I've seen him, closer to two I'm sure. Anyway, we have a lot of friends in common so we were just talking about that. It was kind of inspiring too. He and his roommate are trying to become producers/DJs. It's more of a hobby right now, but I guess they've dropped beats for a few local artists, any money they make, they turn around and invest it into more equipment. Basically, we were just saying how it's great to go after your dreams, and it's sad when you give up on them.

I'm not giving up.

It sucks how you can never go back though. We got into it regarding one of my best friends, hell, he was like a brother. Some shit went down over a year ago and everything's be f'ed up since then. Now I hear he's going into a new career and has just become a different person. It was kind of depressing because even with our falling out, I always thought we'd patch shit up, now I don't even know if I want to. I guess it's like someone dying, you want to remember them a certain way. Why fuck that up.

Dos. Age
Strive's a bit older than I am, but not much, and when talking about careers and all, he mentioned that people always think he's younger. Time's always an issue though, especially when you trying to make your mark or make yourself known. It's always about the YOUNG new talent. Not the middle aged new talent, isn't it? Someone also mentioned how young I look with my haircut, especially with a clean shave. Then the fact that I was "too old" for someone. I don't know, it doesn't bug me too much, especially since I don't look it, but it is constantly there. It's been since my early twenties I guess. Too old to go back to school, to old to be in school, too old to be going to shows, too old to play football. See even recently, maybe yesterday I was writing about playing fag..er flag football because of age and injury. It blows. It also sucks when I'm hanging out with fellow H'ers that are barely able to drink legally. I feel like the creepy old guy sometimes. I've been getting drunk watching Local H for seven years now. GXK also made me think, he won't go to H show's because he says it's over for them. Too late. Whatever the hell that means. Since when has income/commercial success gone hand in hand with quality. I don't know, whatever.

Tres. Hmm...
What the fuck was tres?........................................I know I had one.

(sidebar-people need to stop talking shit. Like I get home and people ask me if I'm drunk? WTF? I had like three drinks and I stopped drinking hours ago. My last drink was a Sprecher Orange Cream Soda. Mmm! People are just asses sometimes.)

I can't remember, fuck it. I'll write about it tomorrow, maybe it was regarding writing, or work, or both. Whatever. Change? Possibly. Hmm...I'm confused.

About a lot of things.

G'nite, sweet dreams.
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