Remember that job I was excited about, the part time after work, teaching/coaching table games after school, two days a week. It was supposed to be Tuesdays and Thursdays, no problem right? It turns out that Peer Mediation is on those days so I'm going to have to choose between Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Joy. Wing Night Wednesdays, or Bowling League Mondays, or Fridays. Swell. Part of me wants to forget all about it and not sign the contract, but the money's too good to pass. Story of my fuckin' life though. I know nothing worth having is easy, and that it's not the end of the world, but I swear to God, nothing is ever smooth for me. Nada.
Great job opportunity, days are fucked up.
Hey look, free tickets to a show, damnit I already have some to another, at the exact same time.
Wow I actually have someone working as an agent for me, sweet! Oh wait, he wants to produce now, crap no one saw my script.
Really, I love you too. Huh? Things aren't working out? That's how you USED to feel? Oh I see, forever's not as long as it used to be.
Woo-hoo!!! A production company's looking at Download! Shit, it's breaking up? Out of business?
Dude, they love my story. Can he have some super powers? Make it more commercial? High-concept? Fawk.
Holy shit! NOMARRR!!!! Crap, he's hurt again? He's not coming back?
I feel great, I've been running all week. YEEEOW! What the fuck was that? My hammy? Achilles? Fuckin' knees.
The scanners are working, and so are the printers. The ink's finally here. Shit, they ALL crashed?
You get the point. Yeah quit being such a bitch, everyone's got problems I know. But add the Cubs and Bears to the equation, and hell, it's a miracle I haven't taken one to the head. I mean, I don't usually dwell on anything, I'm happy the majority of the time, but it's a fake happiness. Sort of, let me explain. If I wasn't constantly watching movies/tv, listening to music, going to shows, playing sports, drinking, etc. I don't know where I'd be. Isn't that life though? Is it so bad to be distracted all the time? Or am I just delaying/avoiding the inevitable. Am I doing all these things to relax, for fun, or am I just stalling. Am I keeping myself from actually changing my situation, my station in life? I'm trying to live everyday like it's my last right? Enjoy it while you can, but aren't you supposed to plan too? There's a balance to everything, granted, it's just difficult to maintain it.
This morning just summed it all up, I'm in a hurry as usual, but I actually had enough time to get a little breakfast. Sweet right, things are looking up, of course I spill a little OJ on myself. Trying to clean it up, I make it worse. It's like my life captured in a moment, frozen in time. Yes, it's not the end of the world, and no it may not be a big deal. However, I try my best, and somehow things end up fucking worse.
Okie dokie smokey, I'll wrap this up. I really need the shows this weekend, fuckin' brain keeps thinking. I really do it to myself though, I dwell in my misery. I refuse to let go. But hey, three day weekend coming up, I should have some free time, I'm just not sure whether or not that's a good thing.