Gil (fenyx) wrote,

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Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

I swear the whole world's against me sometimes.

More on that in a moment. The week has been, well, another typical week. Work's kinda fucked up with all the fights lately. We're heading for a race riot if they don't cut that shit out. Nothing special monday, Tuesday I dropped a bill at Best Buy picking up a few CDs including the new Mos Def and the Jimmy Eats World. I haven't had a lot of time to listen to them but I like what I've heard so far. Also picked up the new Dawn of the Dead which I just saw and I really enjoyed. It's fast, action packed, and the editing is really good. I loved the extras and I must say that I was pleasantly surprised. It defintely had the whole 28 Days Later vibe going. I also picked up GTA: San Andreas, which has been consuming the little free time that I do have. Sam Jackson, Chris Penn, Ice-T, MC Eiht and others provide the voices and it does not disappoint. Then again GTA's rarely do. Wednesday was the usual Wing Night, but it was a bit more subdued as only four of us showed up. Thursday? Hmmm...nothing that I can remember. Friday night...was incredible.

I must be bi-polar because as usual everytime I get a great high, I inevitably come crashing down. So now what? A pair of shows this weekend, some more good times, but it's all so fuckin' temporary. Shit, it sounds like I'm bitching again isn't it. Skip to umm, fuck the whole post is really going to be a lot of BS today, bear with me. I was pretty amused the other day, Dewey was writing about some shit other than music, I think about friends and shit and he's like "I guess this a real LJ entry for a change." That's what they're for though, right? So yeah, Roundeye played last night at the Redline, and Local H tonight at the Double Door. Of course I didn't make it to the show. Part of it was because they always say one time and play at another, the other was that I was at a family Halloween/birthday bash. I also depise having to show up to shit solo, but I should be used to it by now right? I'm still debating whether or not to go tonight, fuckin' job. Why can't I play video games all day, go to shows all night, drink, sleep around, and get paid for it? Fawk. This fucking half-life I'm living is getting old.

Oh and I'm glad no one wants to be alone in a room with me, geez. A whole week and no comments. It didn't have to be anything dirty. We could have watched movies, played cards, played X-Box whatever. One person responded. Que linda. Anyway, no one really checked out my meme either, eh it was something to do.

What's the point you know? A part of me wants to give up sometimes. The last, well, I can't believe it's been this long, but over two years now, I've been in f'ed up relationsips or psuedo-relationships that haven't worked out. Earlier in the week I heard something that was almost a quote, word for word, of something that was said to me before. "I can't give you what you need, I can't be what you need me to be." I'm not asking for the world, but I guess I just make bad decisions sometimes, I'm fucking jinxed I tell you, stay the hell away from me. The thing is I just don't learn, I'm like a retarded puppy or something, that keeps being loyal to the owner that beats him. Once again this week, I did a very bad thing...

And now for a message from our sponsor.

Okay, here's another thing I've been meaning to do for a while, and when I think about it, I may have done it before but it can't hurt. This applies to a couple of people specifically but it's also applicable to all of you, to myself as well.

PSA Halloween 2004

I don't mean to preach to you, tell you what to do, or "nag" you in any way. It's just that I worry, and I'm scared that if you continue down this path, there's not much I, or anyone else will be able to do to help you. I fucking hate being told what to do, I get it all the time, from my parents,(like today for instance)friends/co-workers,(Friday I was told that I was brilliant, genius, etc. Basically that I need to go back to school because I'm too smart to be wasting away at my job)and society in general. If I'm so smart then why the fuck am I at this point in life, this station, and why am I so miserable half the time. So who the hell am I to say anything? I have my own issues and shit I need to be working on, but believe I'm going to start on that shit soon. Now you're thinking all you hear is bitch, bitch, bitch, all negative shit. I understand, there's about two people in this world that actually try to build me up instead of break me down. One I see almost daily, the other not so much. You're right, and there's a lot of things you have going for you. I won't get into specifics, but you're a wonderful person and you are loved. So...quit fuckin' smoking, doin' rails, sleeping around, drinking, eating junk food, being down on yourself, making bad decisions, killing yourself. Not all at once of course, and I'll try to do the same. I love you.

We now return to our regularily scheduled programming.

Local H covered Toxic(yes, Britney's Toxic)and released on their site earlier this week. It fucking rocks, maybe they'll play it tonight. I guess I am going to drag my ass to Wicker Park tonight, sit through the show, and be a mess at work tomorrow. I'm going to need Red Bulls and crack. I'll sleep when I'm dead right? I still have a few errands to run and I wasn't able to help D out today/tonight so I'll try to make it over there on Tuesday, AKA Judgement Day. Fuck, maybe I should take a nap, as I write this I'm dozing off, but I got some shit to do. I think some peeps are at Mul's as I speak...hmm I could use a drink. We'll see.

Alright I'm done, is that it? All this time I thought I'd have a book to write, turns out my life really is as uneventful and insignificant as I figured. See ya when I see ya, Happy Halloween bitches.

PS-quick side note my brother is watching Road Rules or whatever and it looks like some hardcore gay porn. I guess the object it to melt this block of ice. Girls v. boys. So the guys are like on top of each other "humping" the ice getting to melt. Even if they win, it seems to me they've already lost, big time.

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